Ah, shoes. Glorious shoes. Knee high boots. Ankle boots. Running shoes. High heels, kitten heels. I love shoes.
No, wait. I did love shoes. BC. Before Children. Nowadays, I have my stock standard boots, shoes and jandals. It’s not about my love of shoes anymore. It’s about the children.
Kids grow. I know, right? They seem to be continually growing and stretching and getting bigger and wider and taller and bigger and longer and taller and … *sigh*
And, with growth come foot growth. As in, they need bigger shoes. And, just for fun, when they don’t outgrow their shoes, they outwear them!
BoyChild has somehow arrived at the predicament whereby he has outgrown his gumboots and his slippers, and also outworn his shoes.
The weather is turning, there is a lot of rain about and it’s cold. So, I can’t really delay getting him new shoes much longer. Sigh. And, BabyGirl has started walking. WALKING. Which means she now needs shoes. Because, “can” walk means “will” walk. Ever tried carrying a tot who has recently discovered they can get about on those weird things called legs? Tre Impossible.
Today after I picked BoyChild up from Preschool, I realised just how dire his shoe situation was – the velcro from his shoes is nearly entirely worn to nothing.
♫ Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off Shoe Shopping we go! ♪
Now, shopping with boys seems to be completely different to shopping with girls. In my experience, anyway. BoyChild couldn’t really care less about shops. Much like his father, I suppose. Princess LOVES shopping. She will pick up everything and passionately describe why she absoLUTEly must HAVE it. And so, I really expected that this shopping trip would be a case of, go in, pick a pair of gumboots, pick a pair of shoes, pick a pair of slippers, leave. Easy.
Ok, guys – we are just going in to buy BoyChild some shoes. That’s it. Ok?
3:20pm. Shoe Department. Gumboot aisle.
BoyChild, do you like these gumboots? They have TRUCKS on them! Ohhhhhh ….
Mum! I like these ones!
Princess, you don’t need gumboots.
Oh! Maybe he would like these ones then? BoyChild loves strawberries and ponies!
Son, do you like these ones?
NO! NO bung-goots! NO! *throws yellow boots onto the floor*
What about these ones? Red .. ohhhhhhh ….
NO! NO bung-goots! NO! SHOES! SHOES! MY SHOES!
3:30pm. Shoe aisle.
These are nice, I like the blue ones … what do you …
MUM! MUM! Look at THEEEESE BEAUTIFUL SHOES OH MUM I LOVE THEM!!!!
They aren’t your size, Princess. You are a 10. Besides, we aren’t buying you shoes, remember?
OK MUM BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ♪shoes-I-love-shoes♫
BoyChild? Do you like these green shoes? Let me just try to put them …
NO! No shoes Mum! Yuk! No Shoes!
MUM! MUM! Are these in my size?
No, Princess, they are a 4. You are a 10.
Mum! Mum! Are these my size? I love black shoes with sprinkles Mum oh they are soooooo beaUtiful!
No, sweetie. They are a 6. You are a 10.
3:35pm. Slipper aisle.
NO SHOES! BOB SLIPPERS! MY BOB SLIPPERS!
Hun, your Bob slippers are broken. And too small. Do you like these ones? Let me just try them .. please don’t kick. Oh, you want to put them on? Not on your hands. Yes, very funny boy. Yes, clever, but how about we try your feet now? Princess! Those are NOT your size, please stop trying them on. No, they are not a 10, they are a 5. Both of them are. Please put them back. Do you like those slippers, BoyChild? Oh, on your head, now? Ok, yes, very clever. Ha ha ha. No, BabyGirl doesn’t need a pair on her head .. ok .. let’s just …
*picks up entire rack of slippers and re-hangs them all*
What about we go back to the gumboots, Mum? I bet he really wants those pink boots. He told me. He did. He DID.
NO SHOES! WAN’A GO HOME! NO BUNGGOOTS. NO SHOES. BOB SLIPPERS. MY SHOES.
3:45pm. Le Sigh.
Right. We are getting these slippers. Just these plain ones. No, I’m sorry, there are no Bob ones. No, Princess, you are NOT getting those shoes. Please put them back. Yes, I can see they are sparkly. No, you have three pairs of sneakers. Yes, you do have pink ones. Yes, you do have rainbow ones. Come on. Let’s go.
Who wants an ice cream?!
And there you have it.
I went in to buy a pair of gumboots, a pair of shoes and a pair of slippers. I left with a $5 pair of slippers and (awesome because I ♥ bargains) a $1 pair of shoes for BabyGirl. They were one dollar, I don’t care if they fit her or not!
I think I’ll just go back one day soon when I’m without children, and chose them myself. And hope BoyChild cares as little about the shoes he wears, as he does about shopping for them! Much like his father, I suppose.