I have three beautiful babies and, while I love them dearly, I am sure that this baby-making shop is shut. Pretty sure. Mostly sure. I think. Yes, no, definitely no more babies. Probably. No, definitely. Absolutely. I think …
When do you really know that you’ve had enough kids? That, you are done with breeding. Done with it all. When do you stop looking at baby clothes and feel that yearning for another child? Does that ever happen?
I am one of four kids. I always wanted four kids. I was determined. And, funnily enough, Mr T is one of three kids, and was adamant he wanted to have three. It was a point of contention between us. Until, that is, I had three kids.
There are a few reasons why I decided that three was a good number for us.
1. My health during pregnancy
This was a major swaying point for me. In fact, this was the major swaying point. I suffered a lot through my pregnancy with BabyGirl, with things ranging from chronic morning sickness, pre-term labour, irritable uterus, SPD, heart palpatations .. the list was pretty extensive. Note: this was just for one pregnancy. My ailments for the other two were completely different (though, no less thorough) lists. If giving birth were all it took, I could have a million babies, but those pregnancies are not fun, for me or my family.
2. The cost of children
Children are expensive. No kidding, right? But, really. It’s hard to factor in costs like extra curricular activities when you are looking at your beautiful baby but it doesn’t take long before you are looking for activities for them. And, they are NOT cheap. Around here, most things cost around the $100 mark per term. Multiply that by three kidss and it starts to get expensive. Bear in mind, as well, that my three are all still pre-schoolers. I know it’s going to get more expensive as they get older.
3. Time spent with children
I honestly don’t know how people with lots of kids do it. I have no idea how my own mother did it. How the heck do you balance the needs of more children that you have hands spare? I find it such a battle each day, making sure that each of the three kids has time with Mum, time with Dad, time alone, etc. Some days, it simply doesn’t happen. I ran into a friend recently who had just had her third child, and she said to me her biggest battle was helping one child at the expense of another. Which is very accurate – often, you have to ask at least one child to wait while you deal to the other one (or two). I know, it’s character building for them, etc, but it still feels unfair.
On a side note – isn’t it funny, take one kid out of the situation and things go SO much smoother? Anyone with three kids will agree with me – it doesn’t matter which child you remove, two kids are 100% easier to juggle! True story.
4. Parental age
We aren’t getting any younger, let’s be honest. Let’s enjoy the kids that we do have, while we are young(ish).
This is why I don’t want any more kids. In fact, I told my mother with great pride last week, that I was looking at newborn baby clothes and not feeling that familiar clucky twang for the first time. I realised that I didn’t want another baby. I have my babies, and I am looking forward to watching them grow up.
My friend had a baby today. On my baby’s first birthday. And I sat down and reminisced about my labour. And bringing our third little baby home. And how little she was. And I looked at photos. And ….
There it is again. Maybe, just maybe? Perhaps four is a nice number? Even numbers and all that?
Stop it. No. I’m done. The shop is SHUT. I enquired about “the snip” for Mr T yesterday. He still needs a bit of convincing.
A year ago, I was 110% certain that we were DONE-BURGER. Today, 80%. Ask me again in a few months. No, don’t. Because I am done. Or, am I?
Oh dear. Perhaps I will never know.