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Why, Mum? But, why, Mum? But, why, Mum?

Kids ask questions. A lot of questions. Which is great – it is how they learn, and how they explore the world around them. I read somewhere once that your average 4 year old asks around 300 questions a day. I definitely agree with that.

And, with questions, comes answers. Oftentimes I endeavour to answer the question properly and fairly, but I won’t lie – it doesn’t take me long to revert to such common “Mum-isms” as, “it just is”, “because I said so”, and “who want’s ice cream?!?!”.

Today Princess is not well, so she is home from school. I decided to drive 25 minutes to a local fabric store to get some wool, in order to crochet her the Rapunzel hat I (foolishly) committed to, many weeks ago.

Here is how our car ride went. Note: this is only the drive to the store.

Mum? Why can’t I sit in the front seat? Because it isn’t safe

Why not? Because there are air bags in the front

What are airbags? They are .. um … bags like balloons .. that .. um .. come out in a crash and act like a pillow to protect grown up faces. But they are too strong for kids.

Are we going to crash? No

Why not? Because I’m driving very carefully

*silence*

Why aren’t we going to crash? Because I’m driving safe

Where are the airbags? One is inside the steering wheel, one is there *points*

Why is it in the steering wheel? Because that is the most central place for this seat

Is it because the steering wheel has handles? Yes.

Who are the airbags for? The two people sitting in the front

One for Mum and one for Daddy? Yes – or whoever is in the front

Why can’t I sit in the front? Because it’s too dangerous.

Are we going to crash? No.

What are airbags? *silence*

*silence*

Who were you born with, Mum? Um … Grandma.

Why do you call her Mum, Mum? Because she is my Mum

But you are my Mum? Yes.

And she is my Grandma? Yes.

When were you born, Mum? 1982

I was born in 20000001, aye, Mum? No – you were born in 2009.

Oh! Why was I born in 200009? Because that’s when we had you

When was BabyGirl a baby? She kind of still is, but she was born last year

In 20000001? No – 2013.

Who was Daddy born with? Nana

Like Nana-and-Poppa? Yes.

Is Nana Daddy’s Mum? Yes.

*silence*

What is that thing, Mum *points out window* ? What thing, darling?

Why can’t you see everything, Mum? *silence*

Where are we going? To the wool shop

To buy wool? Yes

For my hat? Yes

Are we going to crash, Mum? No.

*silence*

When is the school holidays, Mum? Next week

Tomorrow? No, next week.

In how many days? Five

Is Laughalots open today? Yes

Can we go? No – you are sick today.

Can we go in the holidays? Maybe.

Is it holidays tomorrow? No – next week.

After tomorrow? No – next week.

What time are we picking BoyChild up? This afternoon

Now? No – this afternoon

Is it this afternoon now? No – it’s the morning

Is that when we have morning tea? Yes

When are we picking BoyChild up? 3pm

Is that when he is finished at preschool? Yes.

Why is it a rainy day today? I’m not sure

Why don’t you know what weather is going to be, always? *silence*

Do you know what is rain but colder? No – what?

Snow HA HA HA HA HA HA.

Why aren’t I at school? Because you are sick – you have a cough.

Are my friends at school? Yes.

Why are my friends at school? Because they aren’t sick.

Is it school holidays tomorrow? *silence*

Why can’t I sit in the front seat? *silence*

Mum? Yes?

I love you.

I love you too, pet. I love you too.

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Why Having Children is Like Living With a Ghost

ghost

They are sneaky foxes, these children. Little people who scamper about the place, like a flicker out the corner of your eye.

Living with small children is what I imagine life might be like if your house was haunted.

Things are always everywhere

I babysat a 5 year old boy recently, an only child. He commented, “Wow! You have so many THINGS in EVERY ROOM!”. I might have been offended if it weren’t entirely true. There are things. Everywhere. I don’t blink if I come across a set of kitchen tongs in the bath. Or a ken doll in the pantry. Or an entire box of cars inside my neatly made bed. I very rarely see these things put in these places. They just appear.

Doors open and close by themselves

You go outside to get the laundry, closing the door behind you. Upon your return, the door is open. Yet the child who (you are fairly certain) cannot open said door, is sitting beside it, blinking innocently up at you. How did you …? But .. ?

Doors lock

Make that mistake only once.

Children appear

You are alone in the room. You glance to your left. You glance to your right and damn near wet your pants because suddenly, there is a child standing right. beside. you.

Night Noises

Once you have children, I’m not sure you ever sleep well again. Even the slightest of noises has me leaping out of bed. But the worst are the noises that have no obvious source. You hear a blood-curdling scream. You dash into the kids’ room. Both are fast asleep, not even flickering. Go back to bed. And then, when you are just about asleep again …

Any work is counter productive

You pack up all of the blocks, put them away. Leave the room. Come and back all the blocks are scattered throughout the room once more. Child is either (a) innocently sitting there reading a book, or (b) no where to be found.

Same applies for putting away groceries. Though is this instance, the kids eat the food.

Figures standing beside your bed as you sleep

So, if the noises haven’t woken you, nothing scares the crap out of you more than waking up and realising someone is standing there, just watching you. “Hi, Mum! You are sleeping, Mum!”

Ah, kids.

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Long Time, No Blog

Well, hello there! How are you all? Long time no see!

It feels like it’s been forever since I blogged in here and I would love to say it’s because I’ve been in Hawaii perfecting my tan in time for Spring. It’s not.

I’ve been here, in the cold and wintery weather, battling colds and flus and infections and practically every bug known to children. In the Fantastic household, we seem to have The Cold That Will Not Leave. No matter how I try to bribe it, lure it away, yell at it, scowl at it .. nope, this cold seems to have set up permanent residence here in our lovely abode.

Silly cold.

This winter has been a particularly vicious one, it’s not only my family affected – in my group of friends, there hasn’t been a week in literally three months where one child has not been sick. And frankly, we are over it. Ya hear that, Cold????

Amongst all that going on, we’ve been a busy little household. Princess has been at school for weeks now and, in her words, “I’m getting used to it”. I’ve noticed a certain sassy-ness to her since she started school, a lot of, “what the heck is this??” and “are you freaking kidding me, Mum!”. We are working on teaching her what is appropriate and what isn’t – though, to be honest, it’s hard keeping a straight face with some of the things she comes out with. “He’s SO gross, and I’m like, dude, I don’t want your poo germs all everywhere”.

BoyChild is completely toilet trained now, which is fantastic. Because training Princess was a long, drawn out process, we decided to leave BoyChild until he was ready, no pressure or rush. And sure enough, one day he was trained. Day and night! It’s exciting having only one child in nappies, that’s for sure! Can’t wait until it’s NONE!

BabyGirl is night weaned as well – no more going-to-bed-at-midnight for her! Nope – in bed by 8pm and sleeping through, thankyouverymuch. And, we are close to weaning her fully, as she only feeds for the fun of it now, and tries to stand and walk away while breastfeeding, so this Mumma is drawing the line in the sand. Lying down to feed is one thing, standing and looking around without releasing the nipple is another thing entirely. I have thoroughly adored feeding her, but I think we have both come to the stage where we are done. And I’m happy with that decision 🙂

Of course, all of this is just minor in our household – the real reason I haven’t blogged much recently? Because BoyChild has figured out how to turn on the computer, how to find Google search, type in his games, play them, adjust the volume … and so it begins. Near-impossible to get close to the computer these days. How am I typing this right now? Very quickly, trying to ignore the boy standing behind me on the chair, chanting, “DORA BINGO TIME MUM! MY TURN!”.

Yesterday was the first day of Spring and I couldn’t be happier to see it. And, it seems the weather has followed suit, it’s a beautiful sunny day today. I’m thrilled, because it means I’ll get laundry done today. Because, that’s how I roll.

’till next time 🙂

 

DORA BINGO! DORA BINGO! DORA BINGO!”